Leave me alone

Initially I thought I gonna have a nice weekend, it turn out becoming the worst for me, I had never expected that to happened.

Wrong speech of tone, different way of expressing your figure of speech can cause a such a big misunderstanding. All the accumulated unhappiness was explored in just 1 day, I was surprised by the way I lost my calm, screaming back at you at the top of my voice with no sense of guilty, cos I don't feel that I'm in the wrong.

Even you feel I'm in the wrong, you were saying my speech of tone is wrong, what make you always right?!? Your figure of speech is unacceptable for me either, I don't think I deserve the treatment for you.

Fine!! So be it, anyway no matter how much I had done for you you can never see it, you will only remember my bad & never recall my good.

You feel that I had changed, my attitude is getting from bad to worst, what about you?!? Yes, I do agree you did changed for me back at that time, but that was only for a short period of time & you are back to the same old you, or maybe even worst. I must always mind fuck myself telling me it okay, that you, I should love you for who you are, I shouldn’t ask you to changed for me, even you are back to your old self, I did see you afford you try to changed before, that enough.

When you told me that you feel you mean nothing to me do you know how much that hurt anot?!? It just as good as the past 4years we spend together is a wasted, whatever thing I had done for you has gone down the drain, I'm totally speechless.

I don't know what going to happened next, cos I had insisted to stand firm this time round. Like what you say ,so be in, you going to give in & say sorry to me. Did I ever say I expect you to say sorry? I never!! All I want is just to forget what happened & go back to the normal day. That what you taught me, like what you always say, I had never learn the good stuff from you, I always learnt the bad ones.

Last time whenever we have problems, I always want to talk thing out with you, but never once I successes. You will just shut me off & ask me not to bring up the topic anymore & we can pretend nothing happened, back to the normal days. Yah, I take your advice & this is how I handle situation now. But this time round you choose to talk thing out, I no longer know how to handle the situation anymore, I had lost touch on it, I no longer know how to react anymore.

Seriously I'm fucking tired now, all I want is a good sleep. Why there isn't any place that can give me some peace & let me be alone? Even at home I can't get the peace I want, I had never expect that the world is so big, yet I can't the place for me to hide, is that a kind of joke.