Chinese New Year is coming, I used to love this festival a lot back in the young time. That is the only period of time my mum allow me to over-dosed myself with all the goodies, but only that, I love to go visiting, from house to house, collecting the "ang pao" from my relatives.
As you grow older, my mindset change my our age, CNY is no longer a family thingy, for me, it a short getaway from work instead. Festival feel start to get lesser as I grow older, I will try to avoid all the goodies so to have a good control of my weight. I hate to go visit my relatives now, other than we are blood related, we only met once a year, is not much different from any strangers on the street. I totally can't stand the questions they ask, I can feel that there always hidden meaning behind their words.
The question I hate most from them is, "So when getting marry? After you got marry than we can stop giving you ang pao!" PLEASE lor, if you think I'm too old to collect the ang bao from you you can simply don't give me, I'm totally cool about that, I'm not in need of the money from you, anyway whatever ang pao I collected, I give all the money back to my mum to cover her "lost" on giving your kids angbao.
But I don't seen to have much choices but to tag along with my mum, but usual I won't stay long, I will just go there, show my face & off I go. So where do I go on CNY when most of the shop are closed, I went visiting to my friend place. Feeling of going to friend's house is different, cos we know each other so well, we go in group & we can joke & play around.
Thing start to change like 2years back, I hate CNY completely now, I just want to hide myself during that period of time & don't wish to go anywhere, that including Valentine too.
For the past 2years, for both CNY & Valentine, there this someone appeared in my life. I hate to see her presence in my life, in my 2 special occasion of the year. I can't stop her from tagging along cos we shared the common friends.
I remembered back in 2009, she appear on the Valentine, her appearance cause a great impact to some of our life, causing me to feel insecure, causing a couple to break up. Don't you feel it very wrong to ask someone boyfriend out on Valentine Day cos you had a fight with your boyfriend? Because of your reckless act on that special day, you broke up a couple. So many guys outta, you can just find any single dude to accompany you, why must you find a attached dude, what actually went through your mind when you do that, so what have you achieved?
Me also, backside itchy, love is selfish, why must I try to act 大方 when actually I'm not. I mind so much of her presence on our Valentine, I still need to bear 4hours sitting in the same KTV room with her, looking at her "stick" so closely & enjoy herself so much with the other dudes accompany, I don't see her troubled over her quarrel with her boyfriend at all, not a single bit.
I thought thing ended for good after that day, who knows, it happened once again after a year. While visiting at friend's house suddenly I saw her appearance, I'm really speechless, but she is my friend friend too, I can't stop him on inviting her to his house.
Last year impact was really great, she affected me damn badly till I had several quarrel with dear, I don't wish to go into details on that, but I'm very sure she is up to something. I'm not being paranoid, cos I'm not the only person feel that she is up to something, one of the guy feel it too. He feel that she purposely get so close to him, trying to shows me & dear something, hoping that it either affect me & dear relationship or his & dear friendship.
Cunning ah? Congratulation, you did it, I was "shaken" & deeply affected by your appearance last year. But sadly, I was not affected for long, our recovery was faster than you can thought of, are you disappointed?!?
In another way, I should thanks you for what you did, if not, I will never know that our relationship is stronger than I thought. At least now I know are relationship are strong to withstand the funny act of people around, and know that dear don't say for the seek of saying, he keep his promise & gave me the assurance I need.
I was talking to Sharon that day, we were discussing about CNY & I shared with her what happened the past 2year & I wasn't really looking forward to celebrate CNY. Sharon suggest me to talk to dear about my worry to clear my doubt so at least I can feel better.
Told dear I wasn't really looking forward for the CNY last Saturday, he was rather surprise and ask me why, I told him I feel that the history will repeat again. He was confused by me & keep asking me what happened in the past, he can't recalled a single thing on what happened.
I refreshed his memory alittle & got scolded by him. He did not even treat that she existed there in the past, that why he can't even recalled what happened last year. He gave me the assurance again, everything is in the past, now, they are just stranger that happened to cross the path of each other.
I just prayed hard that when I see her this CNY, I'm rather sure I gonna see her again, I won't be affected by her presence.
No comments:
Post a Comment