Run Away

Warm tears run down my cheek while I'm on the phone with my boyfriend, he did not yell at me, he did not scold me this time, we were just calculating the money we have on hand & how much more we need for 2014.

I don't why I tears, but I'm feeling very scared, worst still, I do not know what I'm worrying about. Been weeks seem we planning for our wedding, nothing run smooth, other than the date, nothing has firmed up yet, not even the venue.

From the initial excitement stage, after all the hic-up, arguments & disagreements I had with my mum & boyfriend, I can't feel any slight excitement at all now, I'm very tired, seriously, breaking down will be a better description to it.

In many situation, I was caught in between, either here or there, I'm really tearing apart. I hate it when you tell me that "go ahead do what you want, as long as you are happy will do", do you know what does that sentence means at all? If I'm given the freedom to make me own decision, why the fuck you so concern & get so unhappy with my choices? Who cares about all those stupid customs & traditions rules?

I suppose to be the happiest woman at this point of time, planning for my own wedding, looking forward for the big day blah blah.. but I can tell you, I should have insist my way, just a solemnization & nothing more, all this fucking shits is making me the most unhappy person on earth right now, I can turn to no one, why would I want to share my shit with anyone else making their day just as bad as mine.

Money, money, money!!! Why the fuck is everything is so expensive, why the fuck is everything coming to my way together at the same time, I seriously cannot cope anymore.Wedding, new house & study, none of these come free, all are huge liability on my shoulder causing me breathless.

I'm seriously not looking forward for anything, nothing at all, even bringing up the subject to me makes me felt uneasy. I don't wish to talk about wedding, I don't want to talk about new house, I want to hear nothing about money. I have the urge to run away, run away from everything, fuck care all the shit just turn away.

Wedding Preparation

Now I know that there are so much preparation we need to do before a wedding ceremony, planning 1 year ahead of date might still be a little tight. Is never a marriage of 2, but is a ventral of 2 family to be exact, to much decision to make, lot of disagreement, unavoidable conflict occurred too!

More are less date are fixed, can't really decide between the 2 dates still, but actually it better to have a back-up date. I quite surprise that it January 2013 now, I send out a couple of email enquiries on the banquet date for February & May 2014, some of the date are already taken, that why I say 1 year in advance is not enough.

I can't imagine we still have so much to plan ahead of us, this gonna be a real busy year, I really don't know if I can manage with my study, work & all this preparation, who can be there to help us?

Wedding checklist guide:

>12 months
Meet the parents (this should be done shortly after the engagement)
Decide on Wedding Date
Discuss Bride Price
Set Wedding Budget
Source for Solemnization Venue
Source for Wedding Banquet Venue
Decide on your wedding theme; check out interesting Wedding Ideas, Wedding Themes, Wedding DIY, Featured Weddings for inspiration

12 months
Book Banquet Venue (if your wedding date is a popular date, you need to book your wedding venue even earlier)
Book Solemnization Venue (if different from Banquet Venue)
Source for Bridal Packages
Start on diet or exercise regime

11 months
Confirm availability of Bridesmaids, Groomsmen, Emcees, and other wedding helpers
Pre-wedding checkups
Sign up for pre-wedding courses
Book Bridal Packages
Begin guest list to get an approximate head count
Book bridal car

8 months
Tailor / Choose wedding gowns
Tailor / Choose wedding suits
Book Photographer
Book Videographer
Book Makeup Artist
Book entertainment, e.g. live bands

6 months
Arrange gown/suit fitting
Arrange trial make-up session
Pick bridal accessories, e.g. veil, headpieces
Shop for wedding shoes for bride and groom
Go for studio and outdoor pre-wedding photoshoots
Design wedding invitation cards

5 months
Prepare initial guest list and seating plan
Shop for wedding favours
Prepare wedding song lists

4 months
Send out Save-the-Dates
Print wedding invites
Book honeymoon
Select and order pre-wedding photos
Prepare Growing Up Montage
Write wedding vows

3 months
Book date for food tasting
Buy wedding bands
Book Solemniser
File for Marriage with ROM
Develop actual-day wedding program
Finalize guest list; call guests who have not responded to save-the-date
Book catering
Purchase wedding wines
Order wedding cake

2 months
Parents of both sides to discuss and finalize wedding details
Prepare wedding speech
Start memorizing wedding vows
Buy wedding cakes for relatives
Prepare first draft of Emcee Script
Send out wedding invites

1 month
Make adjustment to gowns/suits
Finalize guest list and seating plans
Apply for increase in credit card limits
Confirm Emcee Script
Collect wedding photo albums
Organize briefing for wedding helpers
Confirm with wedding florist about bouquets, boutonnieres, parents’ corsages
Finalize wedding decor
Organize rehearsal at wedding venue

3 weeks
Guo Da Li
Arrange for hen and stag nights
Finalize gatecrashing activities

2 weeks
Hui Li
Prepare wedding ang baos
Write wedding speech

1 week
Arrange for facial and hair-styling sessions
Collect Marriage Certificate from ROM
Send out reminders to guests
Collect wedding attire
Finalize actual-day wedding program
Pack all items to take to wedding venue

1 day
Go for wedding manicure/pedicure
Decorate wedding car
Collect flower bouquets and corsages
Send out reminder to wedding vendors, e.g. photographer, videographer, band
Send out reminder to wedding helpers
Perform hair-combing ritual

So many things to follow-up, I'm going crazy!

2012 Resolution Review

Uh huh! It time to review my 2012 resolution again, but before that, just let me recall the thing that happen in 2012:

In 2012, not too much of achievement for me I guess, life are more or less stagnant, went for 2 business trip, to Jakarta & Philippines this year. After visiting these places I’m rather glad that I’m born & bought up in Singapore. Heard so much people complaining how bad Singapore is, but till they see the living condition of our neighbouring countries at the outskirt area, we should be happy that at least every Singaporean has at least a “shoebox” to live in.

A lot of up & down for my family side, everything is like tearing apart, the fact that all are so closely blood-related, but acting like a total stranger now, how sad can that be. The health of the elderlies is going downhill, nothing we can do about that, it the life circle.

Dino fall pretty ill in the mid of the year, thing got really bad, after an operation, thing got better, but till today I’m still keeping a close watch on his diet & health. Dino medical bills nearly “killed” me, I spend 3K plus on his bills & this amount is still rolling now with all the regular follow-up needed. Luckily I’m a person that have spare cash on hand, if not I’m not sure how I can foot these bills.

My boyfriend’s family officially moved to their new house, a 3-storey townhouse located at East Coast Road, finally a room of his own, don’t need to worry my present in his room will cause any inconvenient to his brother that share the same room in their HDB unit with a partition in between. Even with the partition in between allow each of them to have some privacy, but going in or out to my boyfriend room still need to bypass his brother room, not so convenient after all.

I bought a new keyboard for my boyfriend as his birthday gift, he was shocked that I bought him take, it might not be really useful for him but I’m seriously running out of ideas what to buy.

I guess my 2012 is just pretty much like this, nothing fantastic, actual fact is rather boring. Okay, time for my 2012 resolution review:

1• 减肥 (should put as maintained) & 变美美
Result: Weight are still pretty well maintained, including my boyfriend’s weight, he lost more than 10kg in a short period of time, he say need to tone-up his body to take wedding photo. We will work hard together toward this goal.

2• Finally after much discussion with dear, I decided to go for my degree! Hoping to get the bond with my company.
Result: My boss already arrange & fund in my bond amount in the next FY, I will be starting my degree like mid of 2013, by the time I finish my course, my flat should be ready & we will be ready for our wedding I guess. Too bad company maximum bond is only 10K; I need to fork out another 13K myself for the course.

3• I pray for good health
Result: Surprisingly my health is pretty good in 2012, till date I only took 2days of MC, how amazing!

4• I hope my career will 步步高升 & I can officially declare as a white collar
Result: Got some increment, I can’t consider myself as a white collar as I have yet to promote to executive position, but what my superior say, I might not be holding the position, but definitely I holding a much higher pay than some of the executive out there.

5• 步步高升 is not enough, I'm a greedy person, I want more money
Result: Even though my performance bonus wasn’t as high compare to 2011 due to the overall company performance, but still a pretty attractive amount. I spend far too much on Dino medical bills, did not manage to save much.

6• Kick off my online shopping habit
Result: I’m trying pretty hard, hmmmm, guess not hard enough still.

7• Try not spend too much on luxury items
Result: I can’t resist temptation

8• Be more patience in everything I do, keep my temper in control
Result: So far so good I guess

9• Be happy & contented always
Result: I’m always happy & contented

10• Treat everyone around me nice & with love
Result: I doubt so, some people just don’t deserve my kindness.

That all for my 2012 resolution review, haven’t come up with my 2013 resolution, shall think about it & update again real soon

New Year Getaway to Lotus Desaru

Happy New Year everyone, hope you guys have a wonderful 2012 & look forward for a better 2013 like me.


There a lot of up & down in 2012, but overall still consider good to me.

How your New Year celebration goes? Well, for me, I went for a short getaway with my boyfriend in Desaru to celebration this special day. There quite a bit of hic-up in this trip, had a little argument on our way there, but thing has been resolve real fast. My boyfriend's car air-con broke down on our way there as well after he blast his v-tec.

Now I know the important of air-con of a car, it turns into a real disaster without air-con on a raining day. You can’t roll down the window, but if you don’t, the window screen of the car will mist up real fast due to the big temperature different inside & outside of the car, it so dangerous to drive in that weather condition but we left with no choice but to continue with the journey.

I will not share much on our trip details, nothing fantastic about the place as we been to Desaru a couple of time, but it a wonderful place to get away from the busy city.

Had our countdown at the beach, firework just above our head, it a wonderful experience but seriously it very dangerous. The distance is too near, I can feel the heat when firework starting popping away, there alot of unknown thing landed on our head & I really don't what are those thing, I can't imagine what if those spike handed on our head.

Our getaway ended yesterday, cleared the custom rather fast, but we spend the whole of yesterday in the car garage. Initially we thought that the air-con gas run out, who know is the air-con compressor that are faulty, no choice we had to get it fixed yesterday as my boyfriend schedule is really packed for the next few day & we know the dangerous of driving without air-con, paying $1200 for that stupid thingy which we can easily get it outside at 800-900bucks if it a normal working day.

Shall end my post here, too tired to continue writing, shall come up with my New Year Resolution post again real soon.